PRESS RELEASE COMPLETE!!

Press Release

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Aaron J. Dowdell, Author
The In Zone - Feelings, Expressions, and Insights From Within…
Web: http://www.aaronjdowdell.com/
Email: aaron@aaronjdowdell.com
For a copy to review:
Aaron J. Dowdell (480) 200-1662 Cell

From Inner City Chicago Kid To Creative Inspirational Writer:

Author who once started college at age 16 to get out of inner city publishes poetry of real life experiences and emotions from a unique perspective

Chandler, AZ - August 23, 2008 -- Chicago Native Aaron J. Dowdell has done what many told him he couldn’t because he’s an inner city kid raised in the most imperfect environment. He published his first book in 2003 then revised it in 2006 on Lulu.com

Whether it was waking up at 3am almost everyday, driving a fork lift at work, or sitting in a classroom full of kids learning as a Youth Counselor, the words poured out with no regard of time, space, or location. He wrote on invoices, receipts, and during walks around campus or the mall. Once it turned on, it couldn’t be turned off.

Gerry B. Ullrich Jr. comments: “In a world that is cynical, self-centered, and cold, Aaron’s words will stir up long dead emotions and bring comfort to your soul” The title is called The In Zone and each chapter consists of the most universal topics of life (Love, Hope, Departure, Friendship, etc…) and within each chapter are "pieces" that are carefully written to connect to the chapter and the reader. Some pieces give advice, talk about the unspoken bond we share, and others describe what it feels like to be “at peace” or cared for. The "IN" of the title represents where the creativity of written expression lies. The goal is to go beyond being an author who wrote a book and be an artist who uses words to paint emotions.

Aaron was destined to do great things at a young age. Growing up in a single-parent home, in a gang infested place statistics show are next to impossible to succeed, age 21 was when the pen was picked up with a purpose. 110 pages and 23 weeks later the book was completed and the journey of writing continues.

The book offers the understanding of Heart felt emotions and was designed for the reader to connect with that understanding with every word written with an in depth style and flow all its own. It also serves as an addition to an already established foundation of people’s homes. View excerpts and purchase a copy of The In Zone - Feelings, Expressions, and Insights From Within by visiting http://www.lulu.com/content/441817. (END)

YEAR 1 INTO MY 30's

Since the life expectancy of an inner city street kid is 17, I must say I have good reason(s) to be happy that I made it to 31 year old/young. For the record I did absolutely nothing except chill to celebrate my birthday. Got a few calls, few texts, and a few cards. That was cool with me. It was a sunny day, I had the day off, it was peaceful, and I wasn't needed for anything. One thing that was missing was a phone call from my dad. He always made sure he called me every year on 9/17 at 12:01am so he could be first to wish me. So even though I get to celebrate the first year in my 30's, I'm also facing the reality of the first year without my phone call from daddy. I should be sad but I'm not completely because I know he's watching me be my best.

I'm still going to try and make my books successful even though it's a long shot. I did make a promise so I'm sticking by it. I look forward to adding more knowledge and wisdom during this new chapter and see what everything will look like this time next year. Time will tell...

HERE WE GO

Well the last few blogs have been about life experiences but this one is strictly about my 1st book and an update on it's status. I already have my website, my secure on line bookstore, and some decent local buzz about me the writer and the person. The question I've gotten lately has been "what's next?" I've spent the last few months working on that and to summarize: I got lucky and was sent a radio personally who expressed interest in helping take things to the "NEXT", I've handed out plenty of business cards, I started using CLICKS as a way to get attention to my website, and I will be mailing out press releases and book demo's to various talk radio, newspaper, and TV shows across the U.S. and hope for the best.

Besides that life is good, roof over my head, food on the table, and health still in tact...

How To Spot a Phony

Quick shout to those who keep it Real, who are honest, and compassionate. Unfortunately where there's honest and pure, there's toxins and contaminates. We all should know the difference but it can be a little tough to spot the Fakers because they "act" so well now a days. There is some flaws to being fake though and they happen when their character is tested, when they are called out for their constant laziness and negligence, and when the truth about them is exposed. They sabotage others behind their backs to form allegiances while smiling at you when you're around, they think that doing 6 things right is good enough to NEVER be held accountable for their negative ways and attitude, and everyone is out to get them as Fakers are always the innocent and model citizen. Most importantly, if he/she cannot belittle their significant other or co-workers or friends to their face then they will belittle everything and everyone around you often and try to get you on the sneak.

If you know a faker, if you date a faker, if you married a faker, then you need to remove yourself and create distance from your faker. A Faker's job is to be a negative human eclipse so that us positive people don't receive the proper shine we rightfully deserve. By ridding yourself of fakers put you in a position to replace fakers with positive people who will understand how awesome it feels to share the light rather than someone trying to take your shine or block your shine. (Human PF 45) LOL!!!

Stay positive or stay negative... It's your legacy.

MUSIC

As a youngster I always listened to music before I turned in for the night. There was a song I heard back then and I never caught the name of it and I didn't have the resources to find it. It never sounded familiar to my peers which told me that it was Old School. For years (at least 20) this song has played and stayed with me and I still could never find it. Until last night...

I typed in the lyrics and it popped up and I downloaded it so fast. I closed my eyes once again and listened to this that sounded just as beautiful as it did when I was a kid. It was worth the wait just as anything else in life that has some sentimental value.

SO IF MEN ARE DOGGS...

Then what does that make all the women who chase after them? Dog catchers maybe...? Or simply mutts themselves and need an alpha male/dogg to protect them from being naive about their surroundings. So called women seem to still think they can change a boy into a man or a puppy into a man but aren't willing or able to change themselves. This don't let goofy dudes off the hook either since y'all prey only on the weak and ignorant to prove just how coward you really are. Women aren't better than men emotionally and men aren't better than women physically (I'm speaking from the stereotypical) and being together should not be this competition of who can hurt the other the worst. It comes down to coward and ignorance as opposed to courage and intelligence. Coward is what so called women are really chasing after and what so called men seek also. Instead of doing what is necessary to work towards bettering your own flaws and weaknesses, you chase someone to do it for you but hate him/her for having what you lack. Two 1/2 people do not make a full and complete union and it's emotionally criminal to not make yourself into the best possible whole person with hard work and self education.

Fat women that may wanna sexy and fit man, short people want someone tall, shy people wanna someone to talk to them, boring and depressed people want someone who's funny. So what does the sexy, tall, talkative, and funny people get out of the deal? Nothing of substance... I still laugh that dudes are still afraid to tell an attractive and tasteful looking female that she has it goin on for fear of rejection. Excuses excuses of a coward and the same goes for girls too. Then I have to hope that the attractive woman (or man) isn't out hoping that someone will notice them either simply b/c he/she is blessed physically. What a cycle and it's on-going too...

So if men are doggs and women are stupid and weak then aren't both a walking, living, and breathing examples of the true essence of a coward? Of what NOT to be and what we want our kids to NOT "wannabe"? We can all share a legacy of rising above pety instead of falling into the acts of a coward...

IMPACT

Wow!! I looked up and April came and went. Anyway I had one the most awesome and humblings experience happen to me that made anything I went through in April just evaporate. I had someone I met in college 10 years ago find me on my on line bookstore and shot me an e-mail to see if I remember who she was. At first I wondered who this person was and why now but it all came back to me. I've always believed that I have some kind of purpose to serve that was greater than getting A's and B's but more of a personal and human obligation to impact people's lives somehow because I didn't see it practiced too often. Well this particular acquaintance had just broke up with her boyfriend (my college buddy's roommate) at a party and instead of her dealing by herself, I offered my ears and a shoulder (may sound cheezy but the world lacks gentlemen away so oh well...) We spent the whole night talking and then a few hours on the phone when I went back to Chicago. I hadn't hear from her since.

I didn't know that a small amount of time spent with someone I hardly knew would have such a huge impact that lasted so long. I was 20 years old at the time and I felt confident in knowing when to be there when it counts instead of going in for the kill like most could have done in a vulnerable state. We've spoken on the phone recently like the 10 year gap never happened and I am overwhelmed, moved, and very touched that someone would be so gracious and unselfish. Also, to know that having an impact on a person's life is just as significant as the impact person feels so good and doubts I may have had about my abilities then are erased now just as any doubts that there are no more good guys out there were erased then. I just believed in my Heart that she was sweet, caring, and Loving and ten years later, I was right. I can't script this or come close to writing about this. Simply beautiful and I wish people could experience what it feels like to truly have an impact on an other's life and if not then I'll continue trying...

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE

When we met you were just a kid and now you are a young man getting ready for the next academic and social step of your life, college. I hadn't seen you in years but inbetween the time I saw you last and when I recently saw you, I made sure I did what I could as your big bro and mentor to make sure that I could have a positive impact on you and your life so when when we saw each again, it would feel like we were never apart. I didn't want to let your parents down by not doing my best, not calling to check up or check in, or not using my knowledge and experience to add to your growth. I Love and respect Moma and Papa Bear as I call them and I'm happy that you have the support system I never had from my own family when pursing my dreams. Instead of being jealous like most, I chose to be accountable and supportive and learning from you and your support system has given me the confidence I'll need when I have children and they need me to support instead of being cold, being ignorant, and being selfish. I hope you know more so now how much I adore you, your parents adore you, and that you have people who you can count on and counter count on when the serpents of the world show their evil to you up close. I wish you could have stayed longer when you were here but you have your path to master and so do I still. It'll give us more to talk about and keep the chemistry right.

Good Luck!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!

Today you would have turned 70 but instead we have to celebrate your second year in a better place. That's cool with me and I'm not disappointed even though I wish I could have you here physically, the bond we shared before you left is something I'd never trade in. Thank you for supporting the jump start of my book(s), for my first car, my first SUV, and most importantly, thanks for remembering my birthday just as I remembered yours. I know that everytime the clock reads 9:18, when I look at a score and the score reads 9 - 18, and I even bought lunch one day and my meal with tax cost $9.18, I know it's you. I know that my birthday was and still is a highlight in your life just as having you around was and still is a highlight of mine. All baby boys should experience the kind of connection we had over the years with their Dads but I'll always be okay with being one of the few. I could go on and on but I won't so I miss you, I Love you, and as long as the path I walk remains protected by the Love of your umbrella, I'll always walk it proudly no matter what.

Reminds me of why I wrote I Will See You Later

EYE SURGERY

Over the past two weeks I've gone through the process of having corrective eye surgery and what a ride it's been. I've worn glasses since age 4 and contacts since age 14 and both were getting on my nerves because as I got older, my prescription worsened. I vowed that when I turned 30 and if I did the research and had the finances to do so, I would get my eyes corrected. My brother Adam had the popular procedure Lasik at the Lasik Plus Center in Chicago and has no complains whatsoever. He kept pressing and encouraging me to pursue it so I did and learned that my eyes don't qualify for Lasik. I was prepared for that given that my brother didn't inherit the same poor eyesight I did and what's kept us connected and fresh is how parallel yet unique our lives have always been. Not to mention he's a lefty and I'm right-handed. So after getting the news from Lasik that I didn't qualify, I went to a renown Dr. and learned that my style of eye along with my poor vision qualified me for the procedure known as Visian ICL - (Implantable Collamer Lens). Movie projectors have a chip that when light hits it now, you get either the 720i or 1080i clear picture. In a nut shell that is what I had done to my eyes. Now what's in my eye isn't a chip but a specially designed contact lens made of 40% water and the body doesn't treat it as foreign.

I had my right eye done 2 weeks ago and the next day read 20/20 and my left eye done yesterday and during this morning's follow up I read 20/15. I hope they don't fall out because of all the crying I've done. So far the best investment I've made in my life. I took pictures of my glasses and my contacts for the last time because it's over and the divorce is final.

I wrote a piece called Eyes Like Mine and it talks about what I've seen with my eyes from a perceptual viewpoint instead of concentrating on what's obviously in front of me.

There it is!! March 6, 2008 - a championship moment in my life...

EGO-MANIA

I’m going to break down these kinds of people so hopefully when the right person(s) reads this it’ll really help out. There are many of guys and girls out there don’t live from there Heart who are playing this mind game to sucker people into their life with fake charm then once they get what they want, they show you who and what they really are: Cowards, insecure, immature, weak, damaged, and followers. These people down play all things that they do not know or know how to do, they whine when you call them out, and they blame others when they make mistakes as well as blame you when they get caught. If you are a good person and a sweet person then these idiots will use the nerve to tell you that you are too sweet, too nice, and too Loving and why? Because these people live to try and reduce you down to their 3rd grade emotional level. If you are attractive then these people believe that you should stay in doors and not be seen by others because of course others will find you attractive and little ego people can’t handle stuff such as truth or facts. They live to be totally delusion, their imaginations run wild with exaggeration when they need to control or manipulate you into believing they are right and you are always wrong. They trust and love NO ONE (not even themselves) so instead of nurturing and fertilizing the people around them, they try to belittle, discourage, and control those around them with false accusations and extreme drama. Anything you share with these people (Ex: childhood stories, mistakes, ex bfs or gfs, etc…) will be used against you down the road for the next time you call them out for doing wrong in the present. They thrive off throwing the past in others faces and if they were popular 15yrs ago in hs then prepare to here about hs over and over again because it was bigger than watching the movie 300.

These people have little to no real friends or family because people can’t stand to be around them for more than an hour per every 2 months. They aren’t really funny because their jokes come from TV or a repeat of what you said a week ago. If you are an attractive good male, be prepared to be accused of be that way for some other girl even you don’t know but she made this imaginary girl up to make you feel bad or inappropriate for being rather fly to more than just her. If you are an attractive female, be prepared to be told you are fat (Doesn’t matter if you are Shakira’s twin sister and a clone LOL!!!). On behalf of these so called people I wrote a piece titled Consumption

CONNECTION

I'm hoping that someone will feel me on this one. Remember being a kid and not knowing anyone the first day of school and "out of nowhere" the person that you'd spent the next 10 to 25 years growing up with meets eyes with you. Right now I could be talking about someone you just got off the phone with, went out with, cried with, and experienced life with. Whether it's a friend, a spouse, or even a sibling, we all have a wonderful "connection to someone" story to tell. It could have lasted one concert or continuing as I'm writing and you are reading but the beauty is that it's real especially to those who in tune to such a rare sensation. In an attempt to artistically capture that strong sensation I wrote Past Spirit / Future Friend to describe in words what such a bond with people feels like to those who understand and to those who are inexperienced, what it can feel like. This is one of my best pieces...

Click http://www.lulu.com/browse/preview.php?fCID=441817 to read Past Spirit/Future Friend

MY BROTHER'S COMIN 2 PHX!

This is the first time both since I moved to Chandler, AZ that my older brother will be paying a visit. For a couple years we had talked about him coming out but he started a family and that put things on hold. When we were kids in Chicago, my brother was a huge Lakers fan and I was a huge Bulls fan (basketball of course). Sure enuff he won a lot of bragging rights in the 1980's but after they were defeated by my Bulls, he turned to his second team of David Robinson and the Spurs and mine was the Suns. Tonight the Suns and Spurs play and let the rivarly return in full force now that we are adults. Just like the Pistons did to the Bulls in the 1990's, the Spurs have done the same to my Suns but they will fall tonight!

I'm glad he's coming (even though his 1st born and my nephew and my sis-in-law couldn't make it) and I know the Love will be at the airport and after that, it's WAR!!! I purchased tix for the game in November and couldn't wait for this day to come. I miss my bro and I wish we could hang out more but I know I have to maximixe the time we'll have together so that it's memorable and long-lasting. Because he has a family now, we can't talk as much so when we do, it's awesome. I can't wait to show him the home I've found here in AZ and jut show him around so he can learn that there a water supply here in the valley.

My other brother and his family should be here on a later flight so I look forward to seeing them also. Having the time off to spend time with family and friends for some this week's festivities will be time well spent.

OPPOSITION

Took much time and few people to help me find,
Took more time and many people to make you lose.

Know that you can’t trace exactly what it is that keeps you down,
To search for where those difficult feelings lie is something you wouldn’t choose.

You asked to be sent a gifted child to help you better your life,
In return He sent you me...

Possessing everything you would ever want in someone special,
None of which you ever believed you could be...

So I tried to guide you on a path that leads to eternal peace,
A path that you’re not so sure you can walk...

Still crawling, too much surround sound of personal pressure,
Unable to talk...

Try to love you in ways that words can’t express,
Ways so secure that it comes with positive benefits...

I am then introduced to the love from you and your world,
One that has a variety of hidden rules and many unexplainable limits...

See in the world where I come from,
Everyone is treated as human beings and equals...

No one controls another or treats them like property,
Never intentionally trying to make past generation sequels...

In your world, because you were not given the kind of love you felt you deserve,
You would receive it from someone who had a lot to give...

Disregarding the fact that that person may need too,
While slowly trying to take away everything that made that person’s life easy to live...

Click here and it's the 7th page for the 2nd part of this excerpt

http://www.lulu.com/browse/preview.php?fCID=441817

BREAKING UP

Well we all know that New Year's has come and gone and with that comes that test to see if everyone is sticking to their New Year's resolution. Lose weight, stopping smoking/drinking, vacation more, etc... One thing that happens during New Year's is the process of elmination to better one's life. I used to use the New Year to reflect and then form challenges and make vows to improve and build from the previous year. Now that I am older, those challenges and vows I committed to manifested into a way of life and now I have to manage and maintain.

That's not the case for others I've interacted with. Every New Year I have always gotten phones calls because someone got dumped right around the New Year. The person that got dumped always never saw it coming but the more everything is disected and put on the table, the more red flags showed up. So if anyone is in an abusive relationship where your "bf" of "gf" gets some twisted pleasure in making you feel small or less than valued, walk away... Make sure that you do not carry the abusers momentum ansd legacy into the next relationship so that it doesn't have a chance to grow and then when New Year's come around, you are the one who gets dumped for the same reasons you dumped. Do not let these egotistical, self - centered, emotional and moral criminals near your Heart especially if you or your Heart isn't fully developed enough to be ready for battle and fight back.

Understand something, just because you walk away doesn't mean it's over. It means let the drama and the aftermath begin. Let the flowers begin, gifts begin, being sweet begin, the manipulation begin...again. Emotional criminals are repeat offenders and cannot change or grow up into the Man or Woman we hoped for down the road. I'm a whole and complete person so I don't want no goofy ass, incomplete, glass half empty, victim, and twisted/wounded person who's too weak to get over his/her past and his/her self.

Opposites may attract momentarily but compliments are everlasting...

I have written several about this matter but I'll share with you - Opposition

MLK

A special man and a special day that's dear to my Heart. I have friends from all sorts of backgrounds and we've found Love for each other in 2008 no matter what when down in the early 1900's and so on. I happened on some luck the day before MLK and felt like sharing. Some Phoenix Suns tix landed in my lap for a game I don't have in my ticket package and so I went and sat behind the bench of my team as they defeated the Nets. The game was fun, sat 11 rows behind Grant Hill and a section away from Steve Nash's wife and beautiful kids. What melted my Heart the most was the tribute to Dr. King from the suns organization and most importantly I learned that these great seats I had landed me 5 rows from Bill Russell - the 11 time NBA champion for the Celtics and huge part the MLK movement. What a way to celebrate MLK and I'm proud to be one of those who understood and embraced the message that "I Have A Dream" represented.

To Dr. King & family and all the members of the civil rights moment...Thank You.

WORKOUT PROGRAMS

I had someone give me their e-mail address so that I could e-mail a workout program to help get over laziness and lack of focus and motivation from starting something then stopping. Even though I'm fit and in good health, I'm not a personal trainer or nutritionist by no means. Here's my e-mail and I'll let you be the judge as to what I should have done.

"When I was younger, I got up at about 6am to meet 4 ladies at the gym b/c they said they needed some help. So instead of just putting together this workout program, I'll tell you what I shared with them. Sorry, but I don't have a workout plan that will help you get the body, endurance, or the energy you want. All I have is the drive, motive, and the will to shape myself into the best I can be whether it's physical or psychological. I'm also happy and at peace with myself which allows me to care about my well-being and make maintaining what I have NOT easy but natural and a big part of my life. Doing that makes stress, drama, or even laziness an illusion that I could never live by. I never wanted to be that person who never gave putting myself 1st and my health 1st a fair shot.

Maybe this is not what you wanted to hear but it's what I have to share. You are a big girl so you know what challenges lie in front of you should you choose to continue what you start and follow thru . You are a tall, lanky, lightly-skinned, beautiful red-headed woman (don't mean 2 offend) who has been blessed with a slender frame that doesn't need much work. Improving and building on top of what you already have has to start inside and you have to do it for you. I wish people could see what I see but in order to do that, you gotta work hard and enjoy the struggles that come your way. We all hit a wall, have bad days, things that don't go our way, that come with life's package. Being that fit or "sexy" or not as lazy person is a life commitment and is attainable if you are willing to grab it and never let go. It takes sacrifice(s)

That's my workout plan. Good Luck!!!"

Should I Have To Go...

Should I Have
To Go

I’ve spent many years
building on the perfect
foundation for you to
feel secure in with no
further worries.

You’ve already been
given what I will ever
have to offer.

When I’m chosen to
be taken to the other
place, I can
comfortably depart
knowing that your
happiness can continue
in my absence.

Remember.

Everything happens
for a reason.

Sometimes things are
better off unresolved.

Understand.

Whenever I go, I
won’t be alone.
I’ll also make sure to
leave you with
everything that enabled
me to be everything for you.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY DAD!

For those who me know that I lost my Dad last year. Today is the anniversary of his passing and I was wondering how I was going to celebrate. My Dad loved Popeye's chicken, Red Lobster, and Ponderosa. Whenever we saw each other we had to have one or all three and that was cool with me. He also liked watching movies, sports, or just chit chatting. What people probably don't know is that when I was trying to save the money I needed to start publishing my book, he didn't hesitate and after he passed, my brothers and I had to clean his place and wouldn't you know it. On his nightstand lied the autographed copy of my book and pics of all of us that he looked at constantly before he turned in every night. When I was younger, the cars he got for me were HORRIBLE but whenever I needed something fixed, there he was. When he began to get sick every now and again before eventually passing, I made sure I was there. I made sure we had Popeye's, I made sure his shoes were fine, I even cut his toenails to relieve some of the pain because he couldn't reach his feet, I made sure we laughed until he choked, I sat next to him when he slept, and I made sure that no matter what his doubts were that he would know that I always Loved him beyond reason. I made sure to reinforce that to him so that when it was time for him to go, he would go knowing that True Love presented itself in the form of his baby son. I miss him so much but I feel him and that feeling keeps me wanting to challenge myself to take being positive to another level. As long as I am on the path I'll always have that feeling of him strong. I wrote 2 poems that can apply now to this post - Missed Is and Should I Have To Go

http://www.lulu.com/browse/preview.php?fCID=441817 to read Missed Is

A SIGN

There was a younger lady I also met under similar terms and her matter was that she (though very young) was giving up on the belief that Love even exist. She also had a kid very young also and wondered if she’s ever gonna find a good MAN one day. She also wondered why guys are always looking for somebody better that who they are with. [If an incomplete guy is with an incomplete girl then the best the two of them can be is incomplete] – Is what I told her. I believe this guy wanted to see her once or twice a week, see other people also but I don’t think he wanted her to see anyone else or maybe they both could. Maybe when she see’s this blog she’ll correct me. I checked my email it he doesn’t want her seeing anyone else but she wants security and to know where they stand in this “relationship” It’s okay for a female to lay down some ground work instead of asking a confused guy to define the relationship. It’s also okay for a female to have her voice be heard and if the guy can’t respect her then why continue. This was yet another sign that there's still a lot of work to be done especially when she told me that she believed I would be honest with her if she opened up some. We were strangers but because she opened up a little, I was honest with her. I'll never know if I helped any but I tried. As a tribute to all the younger ladies I wrote FOCUS
http://www.lulu.com/browse/preview.php?fCID=441817 Check it out

CONTROL

You know it’s too bad what he did to you,
all of the promises not kept followed by the pain he put you through…

I know you tried everything to prove how much you cared,
his mind was so messed up that true lies was all he shared…

Constant usage of threats never challenges in case you ever wanted to leave,
taking all the love you gave as hurt in return is what you receive…

Using every possible deceiving way to keep you isolated from your closest peers,
never consoling when you’re down and becoming angry at the sight of your tears…

Couldn’t hang out with the girls or trip out with the guys over the phone,
can’t walk away without understanding why wanting to Love is defined as the want to own…

Things finally come to an end and you two part with him running away with your Heart and leaving his emotional baggage...


Click the link below to see the entire poem
http://www.lulu.com/browse/preview.php?fCID=441817

A Woman, Interrupted...

Not to long ago I met a beautiful lady who from N.Y. at my job and after talking to her a few times, she opened up some and wanted to speak her mind openly and freely and that was cool with me. She (like most women on the planet) has had awful luck with guys (I wanna lean away from calling these people “MEN”. You’ll see as I continue LOL) and felt comfortable telling lil’ old me about something she was struggling to deal with. She had dated a guy and he cheated on her on top of lying, controlling, and manipulating her in the middle to make a long story short. Of course he played on her hopes of having a good MAN and everything he did to disrespect her was her fault. That is partially true b/c she allowed it to continue to the point of non repair and she ignored all the red flags – is what I told her. If the story holds true then they hadn’t really spoken for awhile and then outta the blue, she has gifts on her front porch during the holiday season from Guess WHO? This act made her consider getting back with him believe it or not but instead of telling her she’s foolish, stupid, gullible, and desperate, I simply listened to her and respected her for putting her thoughts on the table as opposed to imposing my will and thoughts on her. Since I’ve had this conversation billions of times before her, I felt confident that she would realize on her terms whata mistake she was making once we (TOGETHER) objectively reviewed what was on the table [figuratively]. After some mild drama and support from her friends she cut off all ties with this guy. During our talks I decided to send her something I wrote about this matter so that she would understand that a). She’s not alone and b). I’ve had this presented to me many times before. The title is simple – CONTROL

Where to begin

This is my first time starting a blog but I hope to get better as time goes on. I plan to express my thoughts, feelings, and share my insight on matters that are dear to me and many others that I have spoken to concerning matters dear to them. I am a writer and write about life and I also have my 1st of three books published and this year I plan to publish the second. That’ll help with what I hope to accomplish with this blog. Anyway, this blog will be used as an avenue to put whatever you wish on the table with only one condition, honesty. This is a key ingredient to the success of this experience. Now I don’t claim to know everything, I’m not a date doctor, and most importantly I’m not judgmental. What I am is a student of life and people and how we can learn how to interact better with each other on a civil and intellectual level.

I’ve had so many people gravitate to me and I have so many scenarios people have given me that I want to give back as much positive information as I can. This way I can become a better man, person, and a better writer and even though I feel very confident at this stage of my life, it isn’t over. I still have more to learn, room to grow, and become more complete, more well-rounded, a sharper listener. The better I can make myself will determine how good I will be for others and I believe that will help me understand my purpose. Better…